Funny one liners for online dating

Mention in e Harmony how I’m a great date and can zap a zombie.

My life is, like, really, really fun—Paris Hilton Celebrate what you want to see more of—Tom Peters If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am—Cyril Cusack All of us every single year, we're a different person.

I have only one resolution: To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess. Grow extra thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is enough. “I'm in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. After she woke up, she confided to Dave, her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. Realize that sexy vampires werewolves don’t exist no matter how much I want them to.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions. “I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says. “Yeah,” laughs John, “I've quit buying.” Jenna was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Dave approached Jenna and handed her small package. There in her hand rested a funny book entitled “The meaning of dreams.” 10.

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My New Year’s resolution is 1080p I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night. John, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke.

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Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you’re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.....

What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.

Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.

Stop dating losers who are obsessed with zombies on e Harmony.

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